Christian Dating: What Does the Bible Say?
Last updated: 2026-04-13
The Bible does not explicitly use the term 'dating,' but it provides clear principles for relationships by calling believers to honor God in all interactions. Reformed traditions emphasize that romantic pursuits should be governed by holiness, the goal of marriage in the Lord, and a commitment to protecting the purity of others.
📖 A Foundation of Holiness
The Scriptures teach that all relationships should be handled with a heart set on pleasing God. While the 1689 LBCF Ch.25 §3 emphasizes the duty of Christians to 'marry in the Lord,' avoiding being 'unequally yoked' with those who are wicked or maintain heresy, this wisdom begins long before the wedding day. Paul encourages that while singleness can be a gift, those who struggle with passion should pursue marriage as a holy remedy: 'But if they cannot have continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn' (1 Corinthians 7:9).
Sources: 1689 LBCF Ch.25 §3 · 1 Corinthians 7:9
🛡️ Protecting Purity
Romantic relationships are not exempt from the seventh commandment. The Westminster Larger Catechism Q.138 explains that this commandment requires 'chastity in body, mind, affections, words, and behavior,' as well as 'shunning all occasions of uncleanness.' When we date, we must view the other person not as an object for our own gratification, but as a brother or sister in Christ whose purity we are called to guard as fiercely as our own.
Sources: Westminster Larger Catechism Q.138
✝️ Gospel-Centered Relationships
Ultimately, the Bible directs all of life—including how we relate to others—toward the glory of God. Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:25), our relationships should be characterized by self-sacrificial love rather than selfish desire. By saturating our lives with the 'holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation' (2 Timothy 3:15), we receive the light needed to walk in paths that honor Him, knowing that we are loved in Christ far more than we could ever hope.
Sources: Ephesians 5:25 · 2 Timothy 3:15
While the world often treats dating as a casual pursuit of personal satisfaction, Christians are called to approach romantic relationships as a purposeful commitment to holiness and gospel witness. Reformed traditions, following the regulative principles of Scripture, emphasize that such relationships must be governed by the goal of "marrying in the Lord" and the preservation of sexual purity.
💍 Marrying in the Lord
The primary distinction for a Christian is the commandment to "marry in the Lord." This is not merely a preference but a safeguard for the conscience and a reflection of our primary identity as children of God. As noted in the 1689 LBCF Ch.25 §3, those who profess the true religion ought not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers. This aligns with the apostolic instruction to avoid being bound to those who do not share the same allegiance to Christ, as righteousness has no fellowship with iniquity (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).
Sources: 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 · 1689 LBCF Ch.25 §3
🛡️ Chastity and Purpose
Worldly dating often encourages sexual experimentation as a 'trial' for compatibility, but the gospel calls us to honor the marriage bed as undefiled. We are to practice chastity in heart, speech, and behavior (Westminster Shorter Catechism Q.71). For those who struggle with passion, the Scripture directs them toward marriage rather than the loose practices of the world (1 Corinthians 7:9). Our relationships are not to be arenas for selfishness, but opportunities to serve the other's spiritual growth and to guard the sanctity of the body which is a temple of the living God (2 Corinthians 6:16).
Sources: Westminster Shorter Catechism Q.71 · 1 Corinthians 7:9 · 2 Corinthians 6:16
Related Questions
See all 25 The Christian Life questions →
You Might Also Explore
Want to explore more?
Ask a question